In follow-up to my last post, I am trying to get Jude on a better schedule- going to bed earlier and having more scheduled and lengthy naps (per his advice). Jude has always been nursed to sleep (except for when I worked) and I have always loved it. I put him to sleep in his crib or whatever we made to be his bed on our vacations, and then after about four hours he wakes up, I feed him, and he sleeps with us the rest of the night and feed him about two more times through the night.
Now Jude is approaching eight months and I felt like he should be "sleeping through the night" (Which he does if I feed him right away he doesn't even wake up), and he should be able to fall asleep without me, and so on. So I battled with what I should do. Some nights I would put him right in bed with us, some nights I would try to rock him to sleep in his crib. It was inconsistent and it was me battling myself trying to figure out what I should do.
I let him cry again last night trying to get him to go to sleep at an earlier bedtime and not have to be nursed to sleep every time. I'm done. I felt sick and upset and distant and unnatural for the past two days. I would tell myself to just "stick it out" and "it's for his own good" and "it will get better." But he was horrified and hysterical and I do not feel the need to make him feel that way. I was looking up some articles and discussion boards online and what I already knew became as clear as day. He is only seven and a half months old. He has been on the earth shorter than he was in the womb! It's okay to baby him. He's my baby. He'll grow up fast enough and I'll look back on these days longingly. I am lucky enough to get to stay with him day and night so I am able to do this. He loves it more than anything. It brings him so much contentment and security laying there in my arms. I completely love getting to hold my baby so often and be his source of not only comfort and happiness, but unbeatable nutrition! I am still able to sleep well like this and do not feel sleep-deprived at all. I am thankful I have come to this conclusion. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed for as long as he wanted to, and know I feel confident and peaceful in also letting him breastfeed as often as he wants to. He will naturally grow out of it when he is ready. I feel content and peaceful since I came to this realization. I know it is best for us.
Happy baby, happy mama.
I am still working on an earlier bedtime, though. I'm shooting for 6:30 pm. Wish us luck!