Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Cherishing

Today has been a day where I have been reminded of my blessings many times from waking up before the sun to lying down to sleep long after it sets. We are at an unusual time in life where Dan is only taking one three credit class and otherwise we get to spend lots of time together. No life-changing exams to study for over here, thank you! I am so thankful for this time and know I will always look back on it fondly. My life is not without its trials. I have my days and moments where I have to bring sense back into my mind and remind myself of my innumerable blessings. Some nights I look back on my day, trying to think of the important tasks I accomplished and what is up for tomorrow. And I realize, it's okay that I didn't work on a Master's Degree today or have some really fascinating job. I spent an hour outside with Jude today and let him run free and pushed him around the road on his Red Rider as he quacked at all the dogs on our street. I was patient as I fed him a carefully concocted meal containing every food group. I hugged my husband at least twice and told him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him... And I am content with that.  A day where I do everything for Jude is a productive day to me. I am at a phase in my life where I am in the background. A lot of what I do may seem mundane, but I do it for the ones I love and that makes the work truly enjoyable. I love reading "Llama Llama Red Pajama" (thank you Dolly Parton) to Jude every night while Dan gets him ready for bed and it always takes his tears away. I love it when I steal a kiss right on the lips from my little boy and I especially love it when he willingly gives me one, or two. I love it when I find a hidden stuffed heart, that my sweet Ashley made, under the cupboard in the kitchen with a precious heartfelt love note attached from my man. I love having a dance party to Taylor Swift in the kitchen (22 is still Jude's favorite). I love it when tummies are full from a successful meal and the sink is shiny and clean with no dishes inside. I adore my little home &the love we have inside.




We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight. The Spirit they bring with them is so refreshing. They shared a scripture and their testimonies with us and in the most heartfelt way told us how they feel something different when they walk through our front door. They explained how they can truly feel the Spirit when they come into our home and they love to be here. They encouraged us and told us to keep doing what we're doing. They told us that we have the power of God in our home and how special that is. How is it that two 20 year old boys can have such strength and bring such clarity to my mind as they remind me what really matters in life? I tried not to shed a tear as they told me these things. They probably didn't know how much that means as that is what I truly strive to create in my home. This year and past several months have been life-altering for us, in more ways that what may seem on the surface. Our lives are being completely remodeled on the outside, but even more so on the inside. We are getting a good kick to the pants and being humbled by our eternal Father, who is taking the rough stones we are and smoothing us out until we become perfectly smooth and molded together. I am so thankful!

We have been extremely diligent in our efforts to have scripture study personally and as a couple daily, say our personal and family prayers morning and night, have Family Home Evening, attend the temple monthly, and do our home &visiting teaching. I believe these few "simple" things are indicators on where we stand with the Lord. They may seem simple, but they are profound. Anything else we are doing in our day is meaningless if we are not kneeling in prayer and studying our scriptures. If we are feeling sorrow or just feeling down, if we are feeling emptiness, if we are feeling unsure or confused and wonder why.... are we doing these things? Are we trying to fill our lives with light and serve others? I feel overwhelmingly grateful to my Heavenly Father for humbling us. I want, more than anything, to develop righteous traditions in my own family that will bind us together into the eternities. This talk had a tremendous impact on me. I am working to create righteous traditions in my own family... traditions of daily scripture study and supplication to our Heavenly Father, traditions that will give us the strength to face our challenges with confidence and move forward with faith.

I love my little family of three. I love my family that is yet to come. I can feel them and see glimpses of a future house-full and it is beautiful. I am thankful. Thankful for my world in this little blue house at the end of the cul-da-sac. Thankful for the strength I have within me. Thankful for the hard things in life that make me stronger. And right now, as I imagine Jude lying so skilly-wompus in his bed, dreaming of breast milk ice cream cones, I am thankful to be his mother.