loving him was red...

Last Monday for Family Home Evening we sang "The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock," said a quick prayer, and Dan began the lesson. We haphazardly flipped through the Ensign and pointed to all the pictures of Jesus, repeating his name and try to teach Jude little snippets about his life. Jude was energetically running from one side of the living room to the next, climbing onto &off of the couches, and riding his pink plastic pony. As we were finishing up &wondering if it was all for naught, we found one last picture of Jesus and called Jude's attention to it. He walked over and very purposefully leaned his head in and gave Jesus a big kiss. What?! He was listening! He innocently taught us a powerful lesson of his spiritual intuition. He knows Jesus. Of course he does...

Tonight, Dan was at work all evening and Jude and I played in his room. Jude was fiddling with the iPod so I turned it on for us, Red by Taylor Swift. We both got all giddy-like and started dancing and giggling. He threw his arms up in the air and repeatedly opened and closed his hands. He then clenched them in the tightest fists he could muster and as his whole little body trembled he slowly lowered them down to his sides. Funniest and cutest. New dance move. He then ran over to me and collapsed in my arms for a hug and the tears began (mine). The love I have for this child is the most indescribable, unwavering love I have ever experienced. Never a disappointment. Never an argument. Never a misunderstanding. Only the most pure, unadulterated love. A foundation of perfection to build on, so any future disappointments, arguments, and misunderstandings could never alter my feelings for him. Like air in my lungs and blood in my veins I need him and he needs me. After a stress-inducing doctor's visit and blood draw experience from little arms earlier that day, this moment with my baby was everything I needed to remind me what truly matters. That every and any joy and life's goal or dream will be fulfilled right here in my home, in these quiet moments in our PJ's. Not at a graduation or an award's ceremony or in a bank account, but right here.

I am learning so many lessons. As I look back on the days and months and years, I realize I am happy with who I am and I am becoming the woman I want to be. I am so ridiculously thankful for how Heavenly Father is molding me and teaching me and helping me. I could say so much but it is past midnight, my weary bread-winning husband is falling fast asleep by my side, and Jude will be singing to me in a few short hours. With that thought, good night!