Saturday, June 28, 2014

You're okay?? Are you sure?

1:00 PM has meant one thing for the last four months... nap time. Jude happy in his crib and Abraham happy in Mama's arms, in Mama's bed, on Mama's bosom. He has grown quite accustomed to this... and so has his mama. 

At first I thought about all the things I could get done if he could "ever" nap by himself and vent to Dan about how I spend hours in that bed and sometimes I get restless.

But let me tell you... those couple hours every day that I spent holding my little angel baby so close are priceless. Beyond priceless. They are the most heavenly moments of my day. He would nuzzle up by me and within a matter of seconds he was off to his sleepy slumber, content and relaxed.

I don't know if I tried to put him to sleep by himself for that nap more than once or twice. That was our time. But Dan and I said, "when he's four months, we'll sleep train him."

Well, four months {and a move} came and the last thing I wanted to do was "sleep train" this precious little creature who preferred to be attached to me. I really didn't mind. Although the moments I had throughout the day to do much of anything were few and far between, and I would often go to bed at 8:30 because he was ready and I didn't have the energy to rock him for hours, and Dan and I have hardly had more than twenty minutes alone together in the last four months... besides that, I didn't mind. I really loved it. He is my constant companion.

We got somewhat settled into our new place and decided the time had come. It kind of happened by accident. I started running a couple nights a week with a friend and while I was gone Dan was in charge. And Mama wasn't there to go to sleep with... so the sleep training began. He cried/whined/self-soothed for 20, 25, even 45 minutes. I would leave the house and run an errand because I could not take it. Last night he self-soothed himself (sang to himself, most precious sounds I've ever heard) for an hour, and finally went to sleep. He is learning at an incredibly fast rate. I used to walk on egg shells to try to get him to sleep in his bed and since we've started he sleep training less than ONE WEEK ago, he is content to be payed down in his bed and doesn't jar awake at the slightest sniffle. (We're not to the point of putting him in awake, yet.) 

So today, 1:00 came and I happily hopped in bed with him for our nap. But he wouldn't fall asleep and after a while I knew he needed to go in his bed. He couldn't sleep by me in broad daylight with everything going on. So I swaddled him, rocked him for a few minutes, and laid him down.

And that was it. He was fine. He nuzzled into the bed happily.

Really, you're okay? You don't need me right now? And now here I am. Laying in our bed, alone. Missing him. Boy, I'm glad I savored and enjoyed those four months of naps with my little baby Abraham. I will never regret all the dinners I didn't make and the messy house because I spent the most priceless hours with my dear little child that I could never get back.