baby bump!!!

my bump doesn't always look that big&round. it's when i insist on squeezing into my smallest pencil skirt (but it still fits!) and wearing it to church. i'm trying to wear all my smallest clothes as much as possible right now before it's time to start rockin' the long & flowies.

early this morning as i was studiously researching nursing theories on the internet... i noticed my tummy had grown! quite instantly it seemed! and not only had it grown... but my belly button was undeniably plopped over on the left side.

it

was

the

best.

pretty pregnant: week five

april 15, 2011:

it's still sinking in. i still don't feel pregnant, whatever that feels like. i guess a positively undeniably positive test and no monthly visitor is all you need to be pregnant! every once in a while i feel a little tiny pain in my lower right area. i've felt it maybe five times total- in that exact same spot. that must be where the baby is! my back hurrrts. it did hurt a little bit before due to my job, but in the last couple weeks it is much, much worse! i don't understand how being four and five weeks pregnant could cause such yucky back pain, but i think it is contributing. thank goodness to my hubby to rub my back and listen to my gripe every morning, warm baths that are only filled about half-way up my side (i know it's dangerous if your core temp goes up... don't worry), and laying. i refuse to take medication. my baby doesn't need that!

i must include this to give a thorough diary entry... i was nervous. i didn't want to take a test. i couldn't believe it. when i saw two positive lines i ran into my bed and covered my face up with the covers and still didn't believe it. but it's sinking in. i looove my baby (appleseed).

i've been so good at taking my multivitamins every day. i'm trying to greatly increase my fluid intake, eat healthy, stretch, and exercise. i've decided it's okay to increase the monthly food budget while pregnant- vital organs developing over here!!

we are sooo thrilled, excited, happy, elated, and humbled to be with child. dan's been talking to the future child in my belly for over a year now, but now he is actually talking to somebody! we mention the baby in every prayer and give it kisses daily. this will be the most loved and adored baby in history. telling our family and random friends at work/school has been so much fun. they have been so sweet and supportive and excited. we are waiting to truly break the news. we are holding it close to our hearts right now. :) i can't wait for our parents to be grandparents, both of them, for the first time! how special. like i said, most loved baby everrr.

i love you sweet baby. keep growing healthy and strong and i hope you are comfortable in there. i'm reading you scriptures and playing anthony green for you today (it's his birthday) so you will be well rounded. all my love baby!

two months...

two months today since the gust of wind passed through... when i met with the LDS family services counselor he told me to document on certain anniversaries how we have progressed. and how we have progressed! it truly has been a journey. we have healed so much, emotionally, in the past month. the first month was such a whirlwind, frantically trying to find a place to live and a car and some stability. this past month we have been able to normalize our lives a little bit and get back to a routine. that looming sense of sadness and emptiness that we had before is in a good part gone. i feel happy again. i feel like me again. and dan is back to his sweet, normal, happy self, which makes me happier than anything! it was hard for me to see him sad and stressed.

we have grown so much closer to our friends. it really has been a miracle. we are connected a different level now. it is so nice to have each other. we have family here. that love and support is what we needed more than anything.

my perspective on life is still changed. and i'm so glad. i hate to buy anything. it just feels like a waste. i have realized the pure worthlessness of material things. we are moving into our new apartment in august and we will need all new furniture. my goal is to buy everything we need off of craigslist and from thrift stores. we will probably sell it all when we move in a year anyway. the couch doesn't matter, it's who you're sitting on it with. the paintings and mirrors don't matter, it's just if you make your little place feel like home. i know our little place will feel like home and i will work so hard to get that back.

what i miss most about our last apartment was that it was home. we worked so hard to make itours. the lamps that we thrifted, hauled out to alabama, and painted and refinished that had so much personality... the little clothes hanger with pictures of all our family and friends and everything that mattered to us... we were proud of our little place. every space and corner was us. it had been carefully constructed and tenderly nourished to make home home. and then it was all gone. and destroyed. suddenly. so where is home? home is where we are. but it's nice to have a tangible place, too. :) i am looking forward to making our next place feel like home again. :)

{design credit}

we were able to raise some money thanks to the kindness and goodness of those around us. we finalized all the numbers and everything and we able to give to one of the sweetest families who were tornado victims. and we still have much more to give! that was the greatest blessing of all. it felt like Christmas being able to go buy some of what this family needed and deliver it to them. i am thankful i could be the vector through which to spread kindness and charity. i will update more on that later!

i'm still scared of the tiniest gust of wind or storm cloud of drop of rain. such a little wimp. it's okay, i think it's safe to say that's normal. i check the weather like, 10x a day now if there is any slight anything. we will not be blindsided again!!

overall, definitely progressing. we are so happy and wouldn't take back what has happened. if the trial of the tornado was the size of a watermelon, then all the blessings are the size of an entire pool full of fruit. would you rather have one measly watermelon or a whole pool full of fruit?! seee...

his&hers

R: "oops. i think i've been using your toothbrush. your toothbrush is softer anyways!"

D: "i thought you might have been. there was a chunk of popcorn in my toothbrush the other day and i hadn't eaten any popcorn..."

R: "oops! sorry..."

D: "it's okay. if you would rather use my toothbrush you can."

:)

the joys of the intimate relationship called marriage! best.

ohh baby.

it's true. we are bringing a little child into this world! dan is thrilled, ecstatic, excited, pumped... to be a daddy. i am excited, nervous, worried, waiting. overall, we are so, so excited to be mama and daddy! i like to think our life will be as wonderful as it is now... except sooo much better! we will have a little dan&rachy! i'm really looking forward to feeling that undescribable love everybody talks about when you have your own baby. i want to get all tingly when i see my baby and have no other desire than to sit and stare and hold that little ball of squish all day long. i've never been one to get all tingly for babies, but i just know i will be sooo over the moon and then to pluto and back for our very own creation! it doesn't always make sense. it's not always the right time. it's not always all planned out or payed for, but it's perfect.


the baby is scheduled for dec 12! tentatively, of course. whenever that little genius decides to come is going to be the day. the day of all days. last time we checked it's heart rate was 135. isn't that great? i still haven't felt my little one kicking or punching or somer-saulting. i'm still waiting to explode in my tummy. i don't really look tooo different yet. i have had two people tell me they can tell. one of the ladies i work last night looked at me and said "girl you boomin..." me: "what?!" "your hips are boomin!" so apparantly my hips are booming now. everyone else just teases me about it. but scrubs are very forgiving. more than anything i've been very emotional!

so, that's that. we are thrilled and excited and can't wait to have our own little youngster to wear matching tie-dye shirts with and play with sticks and make mud pies and go on family outings and oh boy, the adventures are already endless...

washANDdry!

we are sooo thrilled to announce...

we got a washer and dryer!!

of our own! we own them! they are in our very own apartment! we don't have to go down the hall, down the stairs, down the other hall, around the corner, and across the mile long pathway to get to the nastiest laundromat in our [old] complex that i was usually scared for my life in.

it is sooo divine. we got them off craigs list for a whopping $250! they are whirlpool. we feel like we've really moved up in the world. there's no telling what's next!!

we had the manliest truck in existence to pick them up. thank you aaron and aly!

he was the SWEATIEST creature alive from all this moving. it was great.

this the final product. the apartment we live in now only has space for the kind that are supposed to go on top of each other. so we just squeeze them in the kitchen. after we've done a wash cycle i can't reach into the washer because it's too hidden. so dan is pretty much the designated laundry man.

our next apartment has space for the side by side, so it's perfect. we've been doing hundreds of loads (it seems like) because we have to wash everything we owned because it's still full of rubble and yucky smells.

pretty pregnant: yuck

we were celebrating our two year anniversary, so the weekend around april 11th, by having a night out. we had been saving our gift cards from christmas for this special occassion, so first we went to bass pro shops (dan got a fly fishing pole), urban outfitters (i got a rug), and then olive garden for dinner. bass pro shops was probably 80 minutes away so it felt like a long days journey to get there. we finally found it off the freeway and we so thrilled to finally be there. dan opened my door and we walked up to the front door, in awe of the sheer greatness of the place. we walked through the front doors and passed through the security gates. as i looked around and saw the waterfall and the animal figurines and all the amazing-ness of bass pro shops.... i started to cry. really. it was not full on crying, but there were tears. i was "overwhelmed with happiness that we finally made it and i knew how excited dan was." is that good reasoning? either way... that was one of those, "i really must be pregnant" moments.

as a newly pregnant lady i forgot to bring snacks with me and didn't realize i am no longer of what i can and can not handle. we were on our way to dinner and it had been four or five hours since i had eaten (i should have gotten that ice cream cone at bass pro shops!!). i was starting to get so sick in the car ("pleeease hurrrry!"). dan was driving as quickly and "nicely" as he could. we finally made it and i was thrilled to get out of the car. i pitifully walked inside and sat down as dan put our names in. he was my prince charming and asked the hostess for some mints for his wife (for those of you who may not know, these are andes mints, so they are the BEST). he brought them back to me and i cried (literally) because he would do something sooo nice for me and he really was my prince charming. the funniest.

we'd been sitting there for a couple minutes talking with the chattiest little (but not really little) lady across the walkway from us when a little ten-ish year old preteen frantically runs towards us down the walkway from the eating area, stops RIGHT in front of dan and i and THROWS UP all over the floor. right in front of me. she then stands there in utter shock and just looked so scared. she had no idea what to do or where to go. so i got up and helped her to the bathroom and helped her try to wash the throw up off of her jacket. she was so disoriented and embarrassed that i hardly think i was able to help, but i tried. she ran back outside and i'm sure went back to her family. (and she never came back to get more cleaned up, not sure where her mom was...) so i come back out, trying so hard nto to loose it myself and sit back down by danny. the throw up is still there on the floor. droves of under-aged hostesses stood around staring it and it and looking helpless and confused, doing nothing. after people kept stepping in it and walking through it, they finally decided to put a chair or two around it to try to block it off. dan and i could not move seats because we felt it was our duty to warn others since no one else was! so for ten to fifteen minutes we sat there waiting hopefully for someone to come clean this up, thinking- they surely know. they surely are on their way...

we eventually get called back to take our seats and i just miraculously can't seem to find my appetite. (vomit staring at me for fifteen minutes?) we tried to be good sports but were just too grossed out and worried that maybe no one ever did find out. so we spoke to the manager and just made sure he was aware. he expressed his frustration with the helpless hostesses and that they are working on it. he then offered us a free appetizer. for free! we were happy. still a little sick, but happy. we got the trio sampler thing, ate our dinner, and all was well. :)

... ... ... ... ... ...

i have never been one to get sick on plane rides. i've flown hundreds of times since i was a little tiny one... never... sick. so i went home to see my sweet mama and daddy and did fine on the way out to vegas. it was a direct flight and that was nice! on the way back it was vegas to amarillo, amarillo to dallas, dallas to birmingham. that means:

taking off

landing

taking off

landing

taking off

landing

...

that's too much. right before my first flight i carelessly ate half a bag of sour patch kids (that i had bought as a surprise to dan... sorrrrry), about a third of a baguette dipped in olive oil & balsamic vinegar (all i ever want these days) and some crackers. so i find my seat wedged in between an asian businesswoman and a little ten-ish year old girl. all was well until we started to lang in amarillo. i turned the air conditioner on the fullest, highest blast i could and tried to deny the obvious sickness i was feeling in my tummy. i was trying to talk myself down and stay cool and calm. sigh... i tried soo hard, but before i knew it i was grabbing the little paper sack out of the seat back pocket and filling it with my stomach contents. grossest! i was so sad for myself and the people next to me, trying to mind their own business but really just too grossed out themselves. since we were landing and not allowed to get up, i just sat there holding my little sack for at least ten minutes until i was able to get up. isn't that just so sad?! i learned my lesson.

a new point o view...

life has been just marvelous for the mulders! we found an apartment and it has everything we were looking for! it's set apart in a little forest of trees so it's got a secluded foresty feel (as much as an apartment can), washer and dryer hook-ups (we are searching like crazy on craigslist and SO excited to have our own!!), a fireplace (oh, how excited i am to decorate!!), ceiling fans, lights on the ceiling (the things we take for granted), a walk in closet, a screened in back porch and past that is just treees and nature, plenty of kitchen space, a dishwasher, TWO bathrooms, anddddd.... TWO bedrooms! but we only get one. let me explain...

we told them we were looking for a one bedroom apartment. (we couldn't afford the two bedroom, it's $200 more!!) they told us they were out of one bedrooms but due to demand they are "converting" the two bedrooms into one bedrooms. sounds very technical, huh. so how do they do that?

they LOCK THE DOOR to the second bedroom. and you aren't allowed to go in! even though it's in your very own apartment. and it just sits there. unused. empty. lonely. and voila! you have a "one bedroom" apartment. (they are nice enough to let us keep the second bathroom for like $30 more a month)

i have been having an ethical dilemma about how "wrong" it is to pick the lock to the second bedroom. it's no difference to them, right?! someone rationalize with me please...

anywho. it's a short and pleasant bike ride to campus, a less than ten minute drive (&even closer than where we are now) to work, and we are excited! it's called POINT O' VIEW apartments (not 'of'). we were soo stressed trying to find a place to live. we feel, like, 100 pounds off our backs now that we have a place! thank you dan for looking so diligently every day! so we move in august 7th. our lease here ends the end of july. so we have nowhere to live for a week... we'll figure it out.

in other news... dan is taking a summer semester class. PHYSICS. it's hard. but he's good at it (of course). dan's birthday week begins today! his birthday is next sunday (father's day!). we are doing great. just trying to live happily and simply and love each other. oh, and i discovered pinterest...

HomeSweetHome

I spent a week at home being loved and loving my sweet mama and daddy while my sweetie pie husband snorkelled and researched coral reefs and sponges in the Bahamas. It was just exactly what I needed and more. We justified the trip because I needed some dental work done. My sweet, humble, giving, wonderful cousin Brad did all my dental work for free! Out of the goodness of his heart. Thank you Brad and Chelsea!!! I also needed a root canal... which was done by a complete stranger, for a complete stranger, for me!! for free!! a root canal! Because he had heard about my situation.... Sigh. Such kindness and love I can't even explain right now. It is so humbling and feels so good to be the recipient of so much love from others. If you are one of those people that has a hard time accepting help from others, you really should try it and let people serve you when you need it. It will change your life!!! It's changed mine!

twinners

So when I went out there I thought I didn't need a root canal after all, just a crown. So we went in to see Brad (i mean, Dr. Peterson DDS), he did an x-ray and.... "You're going to need a root canal after all." My heart was racing, my toes were tightly clenched, my respirations were around 30 or so. I cried for my Mommy. I was so terrified! So my mom and I hopped in the car and drove up to St. George, spent the night with my sweet Aunt Judy and trekked the next day up to Draper, UT- location of Dr. Chad Molen, the imfamous endodontist! Okay, please listen to me... if you live in Utah Valley and ever need a root canal or endodontic work, do yourself a favor and go see Dr. Molen! He is like Picasso of root canals. They have a massage chair and good magazines (Seventeen) in their soothing dark green painted waiting room with classical music softly playing in the background. They are so homey and cute and the office is all his. Once you get in the chair, you are overlooking the beautiful mountains of Utah Valley through big glass windows. Dr. Molen's exudes confidence and skill as he gently guides the needle around your mouth to numb you up. And can I just say... those shots did not hurt! At all! He did all sorts of tricks to help it not hurt. It was such a relief. Then the root canal began. And thanks to a dental dam and a jaw holder opener and I was perfectly comfortable... and fell asleep! My root canal experience was sitting in a massage chair and a nap. It only took an hour and out the door we were with big smiles on our faces. Thank you Dr. Molen! I will never forget your kindness to me.

My mom even treated me to a MCFLURRY for being so brave!! Sigh. It's the life. We drove a lot in that day and a half but we had such a nice time being together and talking. Thank you Mommy for driving the wholllle way even though I wanted to help out and drive! She wouldn't let me. We also visiting Grandpa and Grandma Hickman! It was so good to see them. They are so sweet and always have lots of good stories. :)

But don't worry, that's all not with the dental visits. I had another one to get my crown put on. I know have an all gold tooth. It's so shiny and pretty. I love it. You can only see it if I open my mouth up wide or smile really, really big. Dan said when he picked me up from the airport and I smiled (so big I'm sure) he saw it. He liked it. How did a get a gold crown? Oh, just some more selfless service from friends. Bishop Dixon did all the impressions and everything for free. He is so sweet and humble and it was fun visiting him at his office.

The rest of the trip we ran errands and just tried to relax as much as possible. It was simply blissful. No destruction. No rubble. No bobcats or chain saws. Just pretty trees and well-groomed roads and a perfectly unrealistic way of life for most people. Lovely. We went on several walks through the golf course and admired the sweet little bunnies and quails as we made our way to the new Tivoli shops, so much fun admiring and strolling through the Little Italy. We ate plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Soo delicious! I know I got all my Aantioxidants last week. A fun little lunch with the girls at The Cheesecake Factory. A trip or two to Costco (yes, I did get a chocolate chip gelato... of course!!!). A couple more trips to Target. My mom and dad spoiled me and took me shopping... I am all set! My sweet Daddy was such a good sport. He came with me and mom to get my hair cut and eyebrows waxed!! We already knew he was a gem! He loves his girls. :)

Plenty of bonding time with Tubby. She is the most precious little creature. Attempted to watch The King's Speech several times but we always put it on when we were tired and would fall asleep. Still, a very good movie! The Bachelorette (x2)! So thrilled I was there for two Mondays. Plenty of visits to my sweet Daddy at his office just to visit. I loved to be introduced to all his "girls" at the office (Cupcake, Shasta, Chocolate Thunder, Shortcake... he makes nicknames for all of them and they love it). And reminiscing through all the old notes we have written him over the years that he still has there in his office drawer! Soo precious!! Like, a love note I wrote to him in 1990. Sigh. So much love!

just a little pampered

Memorial Day we had our very own pool party, just the four of us (Mom, Dad, me, and Tubby). It was so perfect. Gliding around on the blow up lounge chair as we listened to the water fall splash and ate popsicles and fruit. Tubby even got on with me!! I was soo thrilled. She wasn't scared because she trusts me. :) We then made a delectable Phyllo Fruit Tart and headed over to their Empty Nesters Family Home Evening. It was a wonderful evening full of fun, mature conversations and even more mature food!

Another highlight was organizing the fridge for my sweet Mama and Daddy. I love it. It's so rewarding and they are always soo appreciative. I also managed to squeeze in some schoolwork... and I got it done! Yay.


I love my Mama. She is always right there when I need her. She always puts me first and would do anything for my happiness. She is willing to sacrifice any of her own needs for mine, and always does. She and I have so much fun together, whether we are looking around at Target or just hanging out on the couch. Everytime I see her I think she gets younger and younger! I am so proud of her and how much she prioritizes her health. So active and young... she has more energy than I do! I love you Mommy!! Can't wait to see you in a few months. :)


I am a Daddy's girl. He is a man after my own heart and I am a girl after his. We always get along and just know how to have fun. He always loves me and makes me feel like the greatest girl in existence! And I know to him I am. I always learning from him and I hope to be like him. He always makes me and my mom laugh- from his dance moves to his hearty singing voice to his cute little ways.

I love you Mom and Daddy! Thank you for taking care of me and just letting me be their little girl. I needed that!