Thursday, April 14, 2016

There's two?!?

I wrote this out a couple months ago right after we found out we're having twins and I'm finally getting around to posting it! I'm really good at not blogging.

Wow. Wow! It's absolutely incredible how my life utterly changed in one moment. It has been miraculous. A true blessing and miracle in which I become more and more grateful every day.

I had been waiting for my insurance to go through so I could go see the midwife since I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for a couple months and were so excited to find out in October that we were expecting! There had been some problems with my insurance and it hadn't gone through. I kept setting up appointments to go see the midwives (same group who delivered Abraham) and I kept getting a call the day before telling me my insurance hadn't gone through. I was also originally just going to take Jude with me to the appointment as Dan was in school and I thought it would be a good experience for Jude to be able to see the baby on the ultrasound and spend that one-on-one time with me. 

So my insurance finally went through mid-December and I had an appointment set up for December 22, the day after my parents left town. Since Dan was out of school we decided to make it a family affair and all go! We went into our appointment as calm as could be. The midwife asked us if we had any questions and we didn't have one! We explained how we'd done this before and felt comfortable with the whole process and didn't have any questions or concerns. She proceeded to get the ultrasound ready, so Dan walked up to the side of the bed holding the boys in each arm so they could see. She applied the cool jelly and put the wand on my belly and before we could blink the picture appeared. Dan and I both saw the picture but nothing registered. Then the midwife exclaimed, "Oh! There's two! It's twins!" My eyes got big as I studied the ultrasound and could NOT deny the two perfectly visible little babies on the screen. The one on the right was stretching his arms way up high, smashing the other one and they were kicking and wiggling all around. It was INCREDIBLE!!! I immediately started crying and laughing like a mad woman and just kept repeating, "are you sure?!" and "are you serious?!" I was in shock!!! I was trying to stay still so she could take her pictures and do her measurements but I could not stop myself from laughing and my tummy kept shaking!

I looked over at Dan and he just had a blank stare on his emotionless face and big huge wide eyes (which remained for several days). He says the thought of having twins had "never crossed (his) mind... ever" so it took him a while to process what was happening! He didn't really have much to say but was just standing there completely dumbfounded.

Those next few minutes were magical. There was an almost tangible magical, surreal, out-of-body feeling in that room. It was amazing! The thought of having twins had definitely crossed my mind before, but I never entertained the thought that we might ever actually have twins. Since I was adopted, I don't know my family history at all so I had no reason to believe I might ever have twins. I also don't have any of the other predisposing factors (like being older, on fertility treatments, etc). So I really NEVER thought we would have twins! Dan doesn't have any twins on his side but the midwife said it depends completely on the mother's side anyway. I used to think that it would be nice to have twins because they are all close in age and if we homeschool, it would be a benefit to have them closer in age and more on the same level. I had already thought that I wanted to have our fourth closer together than our other ones, well I sure got what I wanted! Dan says he would have been more than happy to stop at 3, but we sure found out that wasn't in the plans for us!

The midwife told us that they don't see twin births since any twin pregnancy is considered "high risk," so we were referred to a OB/GYN doctor and a perinatologist. We went and got my blood drawn and stayed in shock for at least a few days! Since Christmas was only a few days away, we waited until Christmas to tell our families and many of our friends were out of town. The waiting was so hard! It has been so fun to be able to tell everyone individually though and see their reactions! The first appointment was so surreal and fast and the midwife didn't know a lot about twins/I didn't know anything to ask, so I've been really anxious to go see the doctor and see them again and get some of my questions answered. 

I feel humbled that Heavenly Father is entrusting me with not just one precious baby from heaven, but two! I definitely feel inadequate and not up to the task, but now that I know about them, I wouldn't and couldn't have it any other way! I love them so immensely and my prayers have been so sincere as I pray for their health and safe arrival. 

We were originally not going to find out the gender of the baby but now with this curveball we have decided to. There is so much new anxiety and questions, not knowing the genders would be too much!! I have a lot to prepare for and I feel like a first-time mom again! 

I am so grateful that I am healthy and have had two healthy pregnancies and pray that this one will be without complications. I know they are more common so I'm trying my best to have realistic expectations. I have a little anxiety when I contemplate how large I'm going to be and how it will be difficult for me to do everything I need to do! I already have an impressive girth (at 12 weeks!) and have started wearing only maternity pants. I have been extremely tired and have had acid reflux and round ligament pain for weeks now and have felt the babies kick starting at ten weeks, I swear! At the time I thought I was crazy but now that I know that's more common in twins, I know it really was them! They were both as healthy as can be. 

They both looked healthy as can be from the mini ultrasound she did. One measured 12 weeks and 2 days and the other measured 12 weeks and 3 days. They appear to be in their own amniotic sacs, meaning they are probably not identical. But we will not know any details until our next appointment at least. The perinatologist squeezed us in for an appointment this coming Thursday. We are so excited!