R: "i've been just eating whenever i want and sleeping whenever i want. i just have no structure..."
D: "you just live it up babe"
R: "this is not living it up, it's more like surviving."
D: "okay, you survive then."
so i'm surviving now. my sweet soul mate is off on his bahamian adventure. he left yesterday, rode on a bus to memphis, and flew out of memphis to miami. we could talk and text and chitty-chat while he was travelling, which made my heart pitter-patter. i've never answered the phone so fast... "HELLO!?!!" the night before we stayed up until midnight so we could make a midnight walmart right for some things he needed (alabama flip-flops, twizzlers, deodarant, etc. OH, and popsicles for me). we have been soo busy. finding a new car, travelling to ATL for that new car, (not really new but new to us) we found the most precious little 2009 honda civic. it smells horribly of smoke but that's really the only thing we don't love about... him??!! her??!! oh my goodness, just realized we haven't even come up with a name. working on that. okay, that was sidetracked. so we stayed up so late and got a little cranky and delusional from being tired. 2:30 came and we were finally sleeping in bed. 5:15 came and one of our FIVE alarms went off... sometimes dan can't sleep if he's afraid he won't get up, so we set five alarms on THREE different devices. it was a circus of annoyance.
so i drove dan to meet with his group and said goodbye. UGH. he gave me his wedding ring and told me he loves me and gave me a hug and kiss and that was it. driving away. i was strong. (he takes his wedding ring off when he swims, and he'll be swimming for two weeks, so i just kept it for safe keeping. it's my thumb ring now.) so we got to talk frequently during his travels which was blissful. but now... he... is... unreachable. in the bahamas. out of the country. no cell phone. possibly NO internet. that means i'm LUCKY if i hear from him. once. or, at all. UGHH!!?!! the anguish! it's been about six hours since i talked to him and i was asleep for five of those six and i've already thought of about 15 things i just had to ask/tell him. i'm lucky if i eat or shower or get up from my ridiculously long and overindulgent sleeping/naps.
i've been filling my mind with nursing research (the class i'm taking right now). i got a new computer out of necessity. (online class). i got a call from DCH yesterday (the company i work for) and they told me i've been chosen to receive a homemade quilt from people in california. chosen?! a quilt?! i was elated. it's soooo precious and most certainly made by grandma's. the quilters guild of fountain valley, california to be exact. i love them. thank you for making me feel loved and special and having a warm blankey when i feel kind of lonely and sad inside. mission accomplished quilters guild. :)
thank you to everyone who is texting me and calling me and loving me because you know i feel more vulnerable now that i was two weeks ago. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. a messs.