Wednesday, October 6, 2010

[babybreakdown]

missing the innumerable, exponential amount of friends we had in rexburg [or so it seems now].
jealous of the social network.
jealous of everyone who lives in western us.
do you realize how joyous it is to live close to people you love?
do you appreciate having friends who appreciate you in all your silly, crazy, stupidness?
do you take advantage of living by family?
missing people.
skype is not cutting it.
i just feel like we are different here.
feels like different everything.
sometimes i lash out at dan &say "WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE???"
and he laughs and smiles and hugs me in an attempt to comfort me while i hit him.
i have forgotten what it's like to have girlfriends.
to be able to just be with friends and enjoy just being with a friend.
i have one friend who i feel close to out here in bermuda, and he's my eternal soul mate.
friendships must be forced, like hard work.
all i would need is one, and i would be happy.

i'm positive i'm breaking some sort of idolatry/jealousy commandment, so just go down and read my other blog entry about happiness so they can cancel out at least.