I took an unintentional break from blogging, but here I am and there's a lot to catch up on! I'm so glad I documented my thoughts throughout my journey of letting go. What a beautiful time of life and literal gift from God! I didn't know it at the time, but my journey of letting go was preparing me for something I hver could have imagined... finding out were having twins! I know Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom helped me to learn to just let go and simplify my life in so many ways and LOVE more and move forward in my life because he knew I would need it through this next phase of life. I was a LITTLE uptight/high-strung/hard on Dan and myself (and undoubetdly my children!). I wasn't embracing life and just content with the happiness of every day. Can you imagine the stress case and frazzled woman I would have been adding twins to that woman's life?! Heaven help me! And I am so grateful heaven did! I still feel far from "ready" to have twins and I know I won't necessarily ever feel "ready," but I'm grateful I've taken time focusing on MYSELF and my relationship with Dan and my own happiness. I'm afraid I would have just crumbled! I know my journey of letting go is just beginning and I love that. The more I let go, the more beauty and joy I can let in. I have literally seen myself and my life and my marriage TRANSFORM. Not because my life changed or Dan changed, but because I changed. What beautiful lives we live. We are constantly growing and changing and although it can be a little uncomfortable and difficult, we come out more polished and full of joy IF WE LET OURSELVES. There is so much I want to do and learn and become and obtain. We live in a world of limitless possibilities and opportunities for growth and happiness. I want to seek that learning and growth and be my best self and create the best life I can for my family.
Dan finished part one of his boards yesterday! (It's the most difficult part.) And although we won't know if he passed for two months, we have peace and confidence in our future. He worked SO hard studying diligently and preparing for this test. He studied long hours but even through it all he never lost that balance. He still made time for us, studying at home so he could see us for his breaks, changing dirty diapers for me during those breaks, coming out to help out the kids to bed, coming home to dinner NEVER being made and never complaining about it but just dutifully making it himself. He, once again, proved his love and devotion to his family through his actions day in and day out. I am FOREVER grateful for a husband who is dedicated to his family and working hard to provide for us and provide for our future.
I will write the story of finding out about the twins next! It has been an emotional, overwhelming, and exciting journey letting that sink in! I am now 24 weeks pregnant, look like I'm 9 months pregnant, and am so grateful they are both as healthy as can be! We are being blessed with two more little boys and couldn't be more excited about it! It's the perfect little family for life on the farm! (Which we currently definitely don't have but are working to have it soon!) I am over-the-moon elated that Dan is done with his big test and can spend more time with us and help more! Let the nesting begin...