Wednesday, December 10, 2014

That bond.

I've been working every night this week from about 10:45am-8:00pm. Tonight I was running behind, and I told Dan to not wait up for me to put Jude to bed. Earlier this morning I had told Jude I would be home to put him to bed tonight and we would read stories together. (To which he always replies, "a bunch?!" And I reply, "yes, a bunch." To which he replies, "In the family living room?" To which I reply, "Yes, under the lights of the Christmas tree!" And then everyone is happy.)

So Dan told me Jude was very sad that I wasn't going to be home to put him to bed. He is famous for this line... "I want Mommy put me to bed!" (And that is very literal. He's okay with Dan getting him all ready for bed but he wants me to be the one to physically lay him down in his bed. It is so funny.) He kept saying, "Mommy said she would put me to bed!!" And Dan said he was just so down. He told him I got held up at work and was so sorry. They went upstairs and after he brushed his teeth, Jude got a big frown on his face and just BURST into tears as he realized I really wasn't going to be home to put him to bed! 

My heart was literally broken and pained and when Dan told me this I could hardly take it. I showered as quickly as possible and hurried into his room. I stared at the precious little soul who made me a mother with so much love and gratitude. I gently caressed his little tummy and a little hint of a smile appeared on his face when he looked at me as his little eyes eventually opened. I scooped him up and told him that I missed him so. He mumbled a reply. We laid down in our spot in the teepee and he just melted right over me, creating the most delicious tummy sandwich. Both my arms were wrapped around him and his little face was nuzzled up so close to mine. I felt his soft, smooth breaths. I heard his little mouth smack open and shut. I grasped his little body in my arms and felt overwhelmed with the adoring love only a mother understands.

That is what waits for me when I get home. A little boy who absolutely adores me and loves his mama more than anything else. I am so humbled by our tender little relationship. I laid him back down in his bed after squeezing his little body so tight against mine. I leaned over and kissed him. He looked up at me and I told him, "I love you so much, baby." He mumbled back, "I love you." Then I caressed his little face and stole one last kiss. I all but wept inside as I looked down at that beautiful little baby!

Sigh. Working is pretty stinky, but moments like that make it all worth it.