a working mama

There is so much to be said about being a working mother! I deeply respect those mothers who work with little ones at home. Granted, we all do it for different reasons and I respect some reasons more than others, but in most cases it is a sacrifice they make in order to provide a better life for their family. It is literally painful to leave that precious little one at home. And single working mothers?! I have more respect for you than I could ever say. I can not imagine how hard that is day in and day out. Bless you for your never-ending sacrifices!

I grew up with the joy of having my dear mother in the home, there to care for us and always just be there. I always knew this was a priority of mine. I knew that circumstances would have to be pretty grim for me to leave my children and work full-time. I would much rather go without many things and be home with my children than work just to be able to afford a second car or cable or other things we don't need. I went into nursing knowing it would give me flexibility and the ability to raise my children while still working a little bit if I so desired.

While I greatly respect working mothers, I also think it takes great courage to be a stay-at-home mother. It is not the easy way out. It is a difficult, never-ending job. Sometimes leaving for work would be a much easier option and a nice break compared to staying at home. We have to be confident in our worth as stay-at-home moms when many of the women and mothers in the world are out working full-time and pursuing their careers. We must remember our worth and be sure of ourselves and our decisions to stay home. I truly believe the most important role we could ever have as women is that of a mother.

Elder Christofferson said in the most recent General Conference address, "The Moral Force of Women,"

"A woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home.

In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of her example and teaching, her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. Her daughters learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular. A mother’s love and high expectations lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing contributions to the well-being of all around them.

What I mean to say is that whether you are single or married, whether you have borne children or not, whether you are old, young, or in between, your moral authority is vital, and perhaps we have begun to take it and you for granted. Certainly there are trends and forces at work that would weaken and even eliminate your influence, to the great detriment of individuals, families, and society at large.

A pernicious philosophy that undermines women’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of motherhood and homemaking as a career. Some view homemaking with outright contempt, arguing it demeans women and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of exploitation.⁸ They ridicule what they call “the mommy track” as a career. This is not fair or right. We do not diminish the value of what women or men achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from those achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than motherhood and fatherhood in marriage. There is no superior career, and no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards of family. Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral influence is no more optimally employed than here...

And do not be afraid to apply that influence without fear or apology. “Be ready always to give an answer to every [man, woman, and child] that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.”¹² “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”¹³ “Bring up your children in light and truth.”¹⁴“Teach [them] to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”¹⁵

Read, watch, or listen to full talk here.

Anyways, back to the subject... I recently got a job as a prn (per diem/as needed, which means I only have to work once every two weeks, but can work pretty much as often as I'd like) nurse at the Methodist Specialty and Transplant Hospital on the surgical floor (pretty much Med-Surg/lots of post-ops). I had orientation all day for a week and a half and as I was talking to my mom one day and was trying to figure out would be best to do with Jude, she immediately offered to come out and help. I resisted at first as they already do so much for us, but I quickly accepted and am so, so grateful she came! What would have been a highly stressful week and a half that would have been a strain on all of us and especially hard on Jude was a pleasant, enjoyable, fun-filled, and even relaxing week and a half! She took care of all our meals, did lots of laundry (no small feat with an apartment laundromat across the way &a little one in tow), took out the trash many times, cleaned, cooked, took us out to dinner, grocery-shopped, fixed Jude's blackout shade, helped me get started on a few projects and even bought all the supplies, taught me how to crochet, kept us on our toes with a few wild games of Clue, enjoyed a few episodes of Dick Van Dyke and Andy Griffith with us, and cared for Jude like the little Lord Fauntlaroy that he is!

My dear friend Maddie watched him the first day and I am so forever grateful to her for her kindness and for going above and beyond to take care of Jude. In the good hands of Maddie and Mimi, he ate great meals, took good long naps, and continued in his happy, carefree ways!

It was so difficult leaving Jude but bearable knowing he was home and happy as can be playing blocks with Mimi and running her toothbrush charger all around the house. Her and Jude visited me at lunch some days and that just took me to the moon and back! One day we Facetimed during my lunch break. I would call Jude every day at lunch and that helped, too. He would sleep for 2-4 hours (good sleeper!) after lunch and then pick me up soon after so I really was only missing a few hours with him.

Granted, I had a lot less stress and responsibility since my mom was here and she took care of everything, but I noticed myself so much happier about life when I was home. I would run to Jude every day after work like a wife to her returning soldier and hug him and kiss him until the sun went down. I would catch myself just grinning at him like a fool as he played and went about his business. I enjoyed the little moments with him more. I savored my time with him whether we were laughing under the comforter for a few precious minutes in the morning before I left or if we were sight-seeing at the grocery store right after work.

My time has been more precious. I just want to spend it with my loves. I realize how very blessed I am. There are plenty of things to stress about and a long to-do list, but I couldn't care less about any of those things after a week and a half of working full-time and missing my family so much. I have remembered what really matters. I remember how blessed I am and how precious every moment I have with them is. I remember that reading books and playing Mr Potato head with Jude is infinitely more important than making sure the floor is swept and swiffed.

I met some adorable friends at orientation and am excited about my new job. It is a huge blessing and a perfect solution for us. I think I will enjoy getting out and using my skills and learning, yet it is infrequent enough that I won't miss Jude too terribly and I can still dedicate myself in full to being a mother and wife. I am grateful to be done with the seven-hour days of sitting on my tush watching PowerPoints, listening to speakers, and endless Meditech training and happy to be home for a few days, but we sure do miss Mimi already!

bread, "boo," &buddies

The title of tihs post sounds like a great name for a Cake Boss episode. I wish I lived through a cake boss episode! My back is hurting from throwing a dinner together in record time so we could eat before Dan left for his meeting (Parmesan Honey Pork, mashed potatoes, &green beans!) and I'm savoring my time to rest before my sweet baby arises ready to play. I'm so behind on my blog so this will be much more than bread, boo &buddies! First of all, Dan got a job! It comes with a story too good to pass up.

It was February 28th and we had not been to the temple yet that month. So we seized the day and off we went. Our temple is two hours away and Jude has a unfortunately consistent history of throwing up in the car and being completely miserable. We try to avoid long trips with him but we weren't going to let another excuse get in our way! I had called the temple a couple of days prior &made appointments for Dan to go in for about an hour and then I would and we would switch off watching Jude outside. It was our first time to the Columbia Temple so we had the directions pulled up on Dan's laptop (smart phone/GPS-less over here). Jude had been miserable &was at his wit's end. I, mistakenly, gave him an apple to nibble on and entertain him as a last resort. Bad idea! I have officially learned my lesson. As we were getting off the freeway and nearing our destination, Jude started throwing up and throwing up and throwing up. I couldn't take it so I took him out of his car seat and held him on my lap and he just continued to throw up, now all over me &the car. (In all honesty, it doesn't bother me a bit!) Dan had the laptop propped up on the passenger seat trying to read the directions as he is driving and worrying about his sick baby &frazzled wife. The phone rings. It was a lady calling about a job opportunity for Dan. It kept cutting out....

"Mr. Mulder, would be willing to accept ______ at Fehr____ doing manuf____?"

"Umm, sure..."

"Okay, can you start tonight?"

"Okay...."

So Dan got a job in the midst of the storm and we found the temple shortly after. Dan went in to get started. Five minutes later I was still in the car trying to get Jude clean when Dan appears at my side informing me that the temple is closed for the next five hours and we can't do anything. I had him go double-check and inform the man that I had made appointments! Yes, we were a few minutes late but there still should have been time for at least one of us. They found our appointments but the man must have been confused because he made them 15 minutes apart! Not enough time... So we kindly asked them if we could at least read scriptures in the lobby. Dan went in and read while I fed Jude lunch (who was feeling 100% by that point). Then Dan watched Jude and I read in Alma and got to know the Temple President. He showed one of the sealing rooms and told me a sweet story about an elderly lady who had painted one of the beautiful paintings in the foyer. We knew Heavenly Father was grateful for our effort even though it did not go quite as planned! On the way home I prayed fervently that Jude would sleep the entire way. That's one of those prayers that was totally my will, but I think it was his too because he slept about 80% of the way home. All is well in Zion.

So Dan started his seven-day-a-week job as a quality inspector for Fehrer, who makes the foam seats for another company who puts the whole seat together and then sells them to BMW. Since he joined, they have been able to get a day off, thank goodness! He has made some nice friends and hasn't minded it too much. Tonight he is switching to night shit. He will go to his class every morning after work and then come home and sleep!

A few weeks ago I attempted to make bread for Jude. Wheat-free, egg-free, milk-free. It's not as easy task. I baked a brick so I blended it up and made bread crumbs. I asked the breadmaker of the house to help me and ta-da! It turned out perfectly. He tweaked the recipe to his liking and even used the bread machine! He is amazing. The bread tastes delicious, too. Enjoy Jude!

A classic game of Peek-A-Boo before bed. This is the first time he initiated it. He was so cute. He would cover his cheeks and his ears and everything else. We have so much fun with our baby. He has the heartiest laughs ever when Daddy's around!

Some friends :)

Cherishing

Today has been a day where I have been reminded of my blessings many times from waking up before the sun to lying down to sleep long after it sets. We are at an unusual time in life where Dan is only taking one three credit class and otherwise we get to spend lots of time together. No life-changing exams to study for over here, thank you! I am so thankful for this time and know I will always look back on it fondly. My life is not without its trials. I have my days and moments where I have to bring sense back into my mind and remind myself of my innumerable blessings. Some nights I look back on my day, trying to think of the important tasks I accomplished and what is up for tomorrow. And I realize, it's okay that I didn't work on a Master's Degree today or have some really fascinating job. I spent an hour outside with Jude today and let him run free and pushed him around the road on his Red Rider as he quacked at all the dogs on our street. I was patient as I fed him a carefully concocted meal containing every food group. I hugged my husband at least twice and told him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him... And I am content with that.  A day where I do everything for Jude is a productive day to me. I am at a phase in my life where I am in the background. A lot of what I do may seem mundane, but I do it for the ones I love and that makes the work truly enjoyable. I love reading "Llama Llama Red Pajama" (thank you Dolly Parton) to Jude every night while Dan gets him ready for bed and it always takes his tears away. I love it when I steal a kiss right on the lips from my little boy and I especially love it when he willingly gives me one, or two. I love it when I find a hidden stuffed heart, that my sweet Ashley made, under the cupboard in the kitchen with a precious heartfelt love note attached from my man. I love having a dance party to Taylor Swift in the kitchen (22 is still Jude's favorite). I love it when tummies are full from a successful meal and the sink is shiny and clean with no dishes inside. I adore my little home &the love we have inside.

We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight. The Spirit they bring with them is so refreshing. They shared a scripture and their testimonies with us and in the most heartfelt way told us how they feel something different when they walk through our front door. They explained how they can truly feel the Spirit when they come into our home and they love to be here. They encouraged us and told us to keep doing what we're doing. They told us that we have the power of God in our home and how special that is. How is it that two 20 year old boys can have such strength and bring such clarity to my mind as they remind me what really matters in life? I tried not to shed a tear as they told me these things. They probably didn't know how much that means as that is what I truly strive to create in my home. This year and past several months have been life-altering for us, in more ways that what may seem on the surface. Our lives are being completely remodeled on the outside, but even more so on the inside. We are getting a good kick to the pants and being humbled by our eternal Father, who is taking the rough stones we are and smoothing us out until we become perfectly smooth and molded together. I am so thankful!

We have been extremely diligent in our efforts to have scripture study personally and as a couple daily, say our personal and family prayers morning and night, have Family Home Evening, attend the temple monthly, and do our home &visiting teaching. I believe these few "simple" things are indicators on where we stand with the Lord. They may seem simple, but they are profound. Anything else we are doing in our day is meaningless if we are not kneeling in prayer and studying our scriptures. If we are feeling sorrow or just feeling down, if we are feeling emptiness, if we are feeling unsure or confused and wonder why.... are we doing these things? Are we trying to fill our lives with light and serve others? I feel overwhelmingly grateful to my Heavenly Father for humbling us. I want, more than anything, to develop righteous traditions in my own family that will bind us together into the eternities. This talk had a tremendous impact on me. I am working to create righteous traditions in my own family... traditions of daily scripture study and supplication to our Heavenly Father, traditions that will give us the strength to face our challenges with confidence and move forward with faith.

I love my little family of three. I love my family that is yet to come. I can feel them and see glimpses of a future house-full and it is beautiful. I am thankful. Thankful for my world in this little blue house at the end of the cul-da-sac. Thankful for the strength I have within me. Thankful for the hard things in life that make me stronger. And right now, as I imagine Jude lying so skilly-wompus in his bed, dreaming of breast milk ice cream cones, I am thankful to be his mother.

have i done any good?!

The other night for Family Home Evening, we watched a bunch of Mormon channel videos, mostly Mormon Messages. We were uplifted and happy as a couple clams by the end. The one that made me soo happy?! The most adorable, hilarious, wonderful remake of "Have I Done Any Good?" by Alex Boye and Carmen Rasmussen. Alex is my abosolute favorite. He gets so into it and has so much passion. I adore him.

Enjoy! :)